Saturday, February 26, 2011

yes, i am his wife.

More of the fun " oh she's your wife" looks today. But much worse
You see everytime my husband introduces me to someone he works with, went to school with ect... I don't know who they expected his wife to be.
So when he says "this is my wife gaby and my son" you can see people's face kinda change, they say "ooohhh this is your wife, your son is so cute"
What? cause i am not a black women like they expected? I am so tired of all the "oohhh i see" looks and all the " hmmm i wonder why she is with him" , Please don't think im paranoid about this, cause i can TOTALLY see it in their faces and reaction, ya know. Why can't it be a simple reaction like " oh nice to meet you " not the extended " OOOOOOOOO". Seriously can't do it. But i brush it off. I just say " nice to meet you"
But today was the worst reaction i have ever gotten.
We went to a Spanish church service where multiple churches met today. We were sitting by some cuban friends that work with my husband. One of their friends came over and was saying hi to my husband friend's wife. She said " oh this is andrew" * the hubs and I were sitting at oppoiste sides of the table*  and this man starts saying " OHHH HEYY MANN" and my husband says "hello". Then the other wife said " oh and this is his wife" he said " whose wife??????!!!" with this horrible horrible tone of voice of extreme shock. She said his wife * pointing to the hubs*
his mouth dropped.
He was like WHAT REALLY?

I was like FOR REAL.
I didn't say anything just smiled and looked away.
Its not like im the hottest thing on this planet. I know why he reacted that way, because a spanish girl isn't suppose to be with a black man.
For real people, its true, racism within minorities exists.
Im so over it

Friday, February 25, 2011

For the love of boys and nail polishes

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE nail polish. I do. A LOT!
Too bad the really nice ones at 9 dollars and up. I can spend 3 bucks MAX, since my husband does NOT understand my love for them

I can't remember the last time  I didn't wear Nail polish, maybe 9? I don't know. The point is I have to have some on all the time, its just the ONE thing i do for myself.. just to keep reminding myself that I can look semi okay, and the nail polish helps me feel "girly" and not "momish" all the time.

I love my son, he is so cute at this age, he is also a pain at this age. I guess that is life with him. He is DEFINITELY a boy, of course he is a boy but you know what i mean. He is rough, and throws himself around without thinking of the danger, by no means is he careful, and he always finds a way to get dirty, * sounds like all babies huh ?*
I guess for me its different cause i was not expecting to have a boy. I though I couldn't handle them, and that they would be to rough for me. I am not by any means a tom boy, so I hate horseplplay or roughhousing, its just not my thing.. my husband on the other hand.....
ahem. .. he loves to just grab the little one and play rough. I just look from a far.
Although lately i have found myself making dinosaur noises and crawling on the floor letting him jump on me and bang his head against my stomach * don't ask me why he likes to do that, the squishiness maybe idk*
We have fun, and I am looking foward to more mommyisadinosaurchaseme time.
I love him

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Randoms and my house

Today I have been feeling BLAH> I don't know what it is lately.
I want to go to sea world. I HAVE TO GO before we leave orlando.
My friends are getting married this summer we are so excited for them. Her hubby to be is going to be doing the same thing my husband does, hospital chaplain, so we like to be living "similar" lives, except of course i have a child and all.
I finally bought a new SD cards to film more baby vids, since our computer is SO FREAKING OLD, i can't transfer any of the christmas/new years/parents visiting and i can NOT delete anything, so i bought a new card 4 gb for 8 bucks, not bad!

Also when did people become so freaking rude at the grocery store, im here with a baby in my cart and some guy cuts me, i had to stop so abruptly the baby came froward, so dumb.
Anyways, Im trying to be my organized with things, since im the WORST in that area, i have all the baby pictures in ONE folder named " baby's first pics" clearly that should have ended when he was like a week old. So now i just made my life more difficult trying to move pictures into monthly folders, awesome.

I wish I could be close to my family, i hate that they only way they see him is through FB and random skype sometimes.

My parents moved out of our childhood home, yeah the economy, i heard miranda lamberts song "the house that built me" and i just cried.
We moved there when i was 13, and since then i have had ALL My important life events
my Quinceanera * sweet 15*
multiple birthday parties
my wedding rehersal lunch
so many events that I can NOT IMAGINE not going back there this summer
I've been trying to forget everything so I don't take it to harsh, but now that I am typing this I am crying.
How will i go back to a random new house? i want MY HOUSE. MY ROOM. MY SPACE.
I will miss you , maple st., river grove... I will never forget you.

My parents are devastated, that my dad doesn't even wanna drive through our neighborhood, its hard. I hate it all. I know some of you understand losing a house, but to my parents it was all.

But, I do believe in a heave and God and none of the material stuff we have on earth will we carry onto heaven, makes things a little easier for me knowing this.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day at the park

Since a sunny day is NOT rare here in orlando, sometimes i forget how lucky I am to live here. Seeing as next year i will have 4 months of winter and lack of sun I am trying to soak it up here as much as I can.
Confession time: I don't drive. * i know i know* and so that means whatever we do we do as a family, whether we like it or not. Sometimes its annoying waiting for my husband to do stuff, but other times its nice cause hes enjoying everything with us. One day I'll learn to drive. Since we have one car anyways its almost like i don't want to. Plus I may or may not be terrified to drive with a baby. ahem.. anyways
Today we went to the park as soon as daddy got home and here are some fun pictures!

Monday, February 21, 2011

The foods war

So there is plenty of controversy about cloth vs. disposables or breast vs. formula. Plenty of women who do the one or the other feel judged and hurt, and sometimes feel like they are not giving their child the BEST that they can.
But what is the "Best". Yes somethings are better, and hey if you are able to do them then good for you!
I breastfeed, but I use disposables. so what am I doing good on one end and bad on the other?

Something I have recently felt "guilty" for is making my own baby food vs. jar food.
I use jar food, for the most part when he was smaller. Right now he doesn't want anything to do with jar food, so I am using more table food, but now im going off on a tagent...
The reason I say this, is because i feel like moms are SO PROUD that they make their own food and use all organic fruits.. ect..  and of course i start to feel guilty. Its hard not to. I then realized my son might have had like a total of 3 months of baby jar food. Why should i feel bad? Its the same way formula moms feel, I can't judge right? and not everyone can afford to live an organic food life style?

Anyways, I wish we could all just realize that you raise your children the way you want to. To each its own. and I love to hear about different methods, like moms who cloth diaper, i actually saw a mom do it and it really is simple. Who knows next time.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


Last weekend, i spent the day with one of my good friends that lives here in orlando. We went to church and then we decided to go visit my husband at work.
He is a hospital chaplain and he visits a lot of kids before they go into surgery or what not.
Considering that fact that we do live in orlando, there is a section called the "walt disney pavillion" where its a small play area dedicated to disney characters. So here is my two favorite boys showing each other love.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Updates and baby wearing

Today was Andrews 9 month update. He is 20 pounds and 28 inches long. My husband was suprised becuase he thought he would be heavier and longer than that, but he is growing steadliy and at a good rate! As long as he is healthy, that is all that matters to me.
I love to wear andrew.
Yes baby wearing.
Sometimes people look at me crazy when i bring him to grocery shop and  I have this 9 month old in a moby wrap.
Granted he has gotten bigger, but this is out time to be close to each other, because I do not wear him as much anymore * mobile child* .
I can't tell you how many stares and questions i have gotten when i was wearing the moby. I loved to explain to people how much i love the moby wrap and its my favorite.

When andrew was born, everyone was like " don't hold your baby your spoiling him" i HATED to hear that. You can't spoil a newborn who needs love and attention! . I can't handle it. I loved wearing him and holding him. Everyone tells me he is so attached to me, and that is fine, also I am with him 24/7 so of course he is attached to me! I think all babies know who their mommy is and lounge to her when they see her.
So I will wear the little booger for as long as I can. He is getting bigger and bigger everyday, so my time is coming to an end :(. Which brings me to my next point of nursing my little one. I think i can do it longer than the year i planned. I love every moment i do this with him.

Okay enough about baby wearing, i suggest if you have a super fussy baby ( like i did) and you need to just use both hands, you will be amazed how they fall asleep on your chest and you can just breath for a minute. I didn't discover the moby till my son was 2 months, but when I did, we used it so many times to put him to sleep, cause i know how dreadful it feels when you sense that night is approaching and you know you will not be sleeping. awesome.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Its been a good week so far, It started off great with Valentines day and all :)
And guess what I got for Valentines day? A MASSAGE. my first ever. it was amazing.
I loved every second. I wish we could afford to do it every month ;) or week.. haha.
Still looking for a place to live in michigan next year, its so hard to find what you need.
Rocky my dog has been a PAIN lately, if he could run away he would, I don't know why but of course he loves to roll around in dirt and such. ugh.

We were able to get 2 eric carle books the very hungry catepillar and the mixed-up Chameleon for 10 bucks for BOTH! Kohls is having those books for 5 bucks each, and all the proceeds go to their charity. awesome. Cause I was eyeing those books but could not pay 15 dollars for each.

We all need new clothes. Desperately, summer is here in orlando and i have nothing to wear. My son has out grown everything, and my husband is in suits everyday that he has nothing either. We need to go shopping asap.
I need new contacts. ASAP.
I was going through a time where i was getting styes in my eyes, i took predisone earlier this year for an asthma situation i was having and it lowered my immune system even more.
But im tired of wearing my glasses and the hotter it is the more sweat and yuck, not a good combination with the glasses.

Now to keep looking for birthday ideas. ..

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

9 Months!

Where is the time going, i have no clue. I'm officially stressing about his first birthday.

Dear Andrew

Your 9 months old today hunny!
You are the sweetest boy in the world. You know what contiunes to be my favorite part of the day, the mornings, when your in our bed and you wake up me up by touching my face and i open my eyes , you flash a huge smile to me. I love that so much.
You are the joy in our lives!
You are so cute, discovering and learning.
You tilt your head to the side when your trying to figure out where things "went" and you love to poke both daddy and I when we nap.
You are a fast crawler and you are constantly on your feet.
You love to be standing and cruising around from one side of the couch to another.
You still have NO TEETH, not even swollen or red, but you are cranky and have your fingers in your mouth all the time. Lets hope it comes quickly.
You are partially sleeping through the night. We did have a good 3 weeks back when  you were 6 months old that you slept from 8-8, but I don't know what happened.
You sleep from 7 -3 then mommy is too lazy to let you CIO, and i just bring you back into bed with us.
You are still nursing, and you aren't the best eater in the world.
You like fruit and vegtables. Actually today you are eating peas like a pro without me smashing them. I guess I should let you eat more foods, and trust that you can "chew" them, but i have a GREAT fear of you choking, so i try to still give you soft food
You LOVE avacados and your puffs.
You are now finally starting to "play" with rocky, although i always have to tell both of you to be "nice".
We celebrated Valentines day together this year. The 3 of us. We enjoyed macaroni grill and you got to taste some bread. Then we went to get frozen yogurt with fruit and you had some of that too!
Daddy bought you a card from you to me, and 2 books for valentines day.
You can crawl then go to a sitting postion with ease!.
I bought you a "walker" so maybe you'll get brave enough to do some steps with it :)
You love to make little noises when you try to "talk"
You understand "no" but you are SO stubborn, we will have issues ;)
No definite words like"mama or dada" but that is  cause your hearing 2 languages all day.
I am NOT worried in the least about that.
Overall your a happy boy, loving little baby, and your laugh melts my heart!

I love you so much baby boy

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The best surprise!

I was inspired by Me,E, and Baby Makes Three to write about timing. Not our timing but God's Timing.
Andrew, our son, was a surprise baby. He wasn't not wanted or anything like that, and I hate hearing "mistake" baby, that just sounds horrible. But he was not expected at the time I found out.
You see, I was the type of girl who liked to plan her life 10 years in advance. Yup 10 years.
My husband just listened to me, and my dreams, but at the same time he was always like " gaby you have to be flexible to changes". I hate changes. I hate moving. I like being in one place for a long time. I like familiar things, being near familiar people.
I know I'm weird.
BUT, my husband is in ministry, he is a pastor. Do you know what comes with that territory?  A LOT of MOVING, CHANGES, and not being in one place longer than a few years.
I knew that when I met him college, he was a theology major and I a speech-pathology major.
When we got married, everyone ( at our reception) was asking when we would have kids? I was like SERIOUSLY?!! already? people are asking.
I would say 5 years AT LEAST!  I was not ready I thought. I KNOW I wasn't ready.
I LONGED to get my masters SO BADLY, but at the time my husband recieved at job at our old university, where the nearest university to offer a masters program in Speech was 3 hours away.
It was not happening THAT year.
I was desperate to go back to school, with all my classmates being accepted to their grad schools, moving, LEARNING MORE THAN ME, I felt behind for sure. I felt that if I didn't go to school again I would forget everything!
Yeah I was being dramatic.
Now we waited to see if my husband was "picked up" by certain conferences that would give him a church to pastor, and secretly I hoped we would be near a college town so I could go back to school.
But God has different plans for us. God knew where and when he wanted to give us a family.
My husband got an offer to be a chaplain at a hospital in florida. Its a nice program that pays for his masters next year. It was a perfect thing for our family.
Before we knew about where we were going to be we found out I was pregnant.
I was a week out of my BC and getting it shipped to me from michigan  since that is where my prescription was at. I thought I would be okay with just a week out of it, and since i "heard" it takes about 3 months to "get out of your system" I didn't even think twice.
Weridly enough I was craving strawberry slushies from sonics, which I did like but NOT love. I was asking my husband to bring me one everyday. I had no idea why, i just NEEDED one. Then that same day I called my mom, she said that maybe I should start thinking of starting a family since at this time I probably would not be able to get my masters for awhile, and since my dream was to be able to stay home with my child, that this would be a good time.
I was like MOM YOUR CRAZY, goodbye.
My mom was right.
So on September 17, 2009 4 days before my 22nd birthday I POAS and it was positive. 
I screamed, yes i was shocked, but once all that shock went away I was unbelievably happy. My husband was so happy, it made me feel relaxed and to know that everything would be okay.
He came at the perfect timing. He came at the time God knew he needed to be here.
And for that reason, I will always leave my life in God's timing.
We are so thankful for our little baby boy who bring so much joy, laughter, and happiness into our lives.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Boarding School

I went to a boarding school for 11 and 12 grade. It was the "cool" school.
See, there is a junior academy i went to that went from prek to 10th grade, and like everyone that went to my school, the next place to go was Broadview Academy.
My dear old Broadview.
I just finished looking at pictures of my old highschool. I had seriously the BEST memories of my life there.
Yes it was a boarding highschool, but it was amazing. I loved it. Some people felt "trapped' or like it was "jail" but i never saw it that way.
I felt like it was a home away from home.
Of course my actual home was only 1hr 30 min away, but still.
I remember the countless nights with my friends.
The nights we would stay up in our dorm room trying to not make too much noise so our RA couldnt hear us ( even though my senior year I was the head RA).
I had my first kiss there.
My first heart break, many first.
As I am writting this my heart is litterly flowing with emotions i might cry.
So many amazing memories that I can never forget.
It was such a big school ,and due to lack of students wanting to attend and not enough funding from our church they had to close down dear ol'broadview.
I was sad when i heard it was never opening again.
Sad that i would not be able to go to my reunions.
Sad that I wouldn't see the people i went to highschool with.
Luckily im still very good friends with my ex roomates, and we went to the same college, and now our husbands are even in the same profession!
Its funny how much you can miss a place.
I feel like my highschool experience was complete with going to boarding school.
I thank God that i was able to go and spend those 2 years there, 2 years that mean so much to me.
I hope that my son will be able to experience what i did, I have to convince my husband he doesn't agree with it, but that is because he wasn't able to go to a boarding school. I understand him too and his points, but you ask anyone who went to a boarding school voluntarily and you will hear they loved it.
I did.

I will never forget those times ever!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Play date!

Today andrew went on a play date, with a 5 month old. It was interesting because of course now andrew is crawling and grabbing onto anything he can, so i had to keep a close eye on him so he wouldn't "grab" the baby. I forget how little and fragile a 5 month old is.
seriously. I am FORGETTING that stage of my son.
Its weird. I feel like he's been mobile since forever.
I'm forgetting the little stationary baby that i could hold and cuddle and just feed.
Now, ha im lucky if he stays put when we nurse and im lucky if i get some snuggle time in the morning when he is not fully awake and i just sit on the couch with him and kiss him.
GAH. Why is the time flying by?!
Its okay, i love the moments we have right now. I love that he is curious and he cocks his head to the side and starts looking for things he can't "see" .

I did get a bit of baby fever. Kinda.
But I actually realized i am NOT ready for another child today.
As i held the other baby boy, my son came crawling as fast as he could to grab my legs and use them as he stood up, since he is getting gutsy he lets go, but the floor at my friends house is tile, so i was holding this 5 month old barley while trying to put my son back on the floor so his head wouldn't hit the ground.
Thats when i realized if i had 2 little babies like that i couldn't do it.
Of course technically even if i got pregnant right away, my son would be walking and stable, but i couldn't imagine having a 8 month old and a 5 month old. not possible physically i know, but scary none the least.
Also i think cause he was a boy, my baby fever wasn't as bad. I know that sounds horrible, but its when i see little girls that i want a baby girl badly.

We took passport pictures of my son today. He looked so cute. my son and his first passport.
I die inside a bit.
I told my husband in the car that one day he will look at this picture and be like "Mom why did you put this brown shirt on me" and i will say, it was so in back then.
BACK THEN guys... back then...
time will go by when katy perry,p.diddy,rihianna will be considered "oldies"
Okay im done.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The boob.

When I made the decision to nurse, it was something i was SO sure of. My mom highly encouraged me since she nursed us for years ( yes 3 years... gross i know). I knew that I always wanted to nurse, and i never debated between whether or not i was going to, but the whole entire time i was pretty sure the whole nursing process was going to be easy.
My mom has a severe case of mastitis, to the point where she had a huge whole in her left breast because she was too young and stupid to tell anyone that a HUGE ball was forming, they had to do surgery and it was just a mess. She kept nursing me. She was determined, but at the same time i think she was just lazy, lol. I look at me now and when i had to wash some bottles i felt like OMG i hate this, it was so much simpler to just pull out the boob and feed him. It still is.
It has been an up and down right now with supply and demand but im hoping its because i just am not consuming enough calories. I know its weird to have to "eat" more but i need to to keep my supply up.
But back to the beginning of this nursing process, it was HARD. VERY VERY HARD. I hate that lactation specialist make it seem like its the easiest thing in the world, and in my head it was going to be "easy". Like i was so cocky and sure that this was going to be the easiest thing in the world.
Boy was I wrong.
My son had a TINY mouth when he was born. He didn't latch, and if he did he would latch on on to HALF of the tip of my nip. HALF OF IT.  it was HORRIBLE. i was in a lot of pain. I hated feeding time. Seriously. i was crying most of the time it was time to feed. The first days where horrible.
I had no milk, he couldn't latch, and on top of that my mom who was my main support about breastfeeding said " if your having such a hard time maybe formula would be ok". I cried more. Not about the formula, but that she was my support. I WANTED to nurse, i just wanted to hear YOU CAN DO IT. I needed that, i needed to know that things would get easier. I did cry and i told my mom why are you saying that, just tell me it will be okay. She just said she HATED to see me suffer, and of course she wants to just tell me something that would let her not see me suffer.

The first 3 months sucked, but things get better, my nipples got used to it, we were happy. We still are, and I am hoping we can make it to the year that i promised.

And thats where my second point comes in. Stopping nursing. Im going to cry. I know i am. Its weird but its something me and him share. Me and him. My boy and me.
Super super sadz now.
Its okay. I love him and life must go on

Friday, February 4, 2011

My baby boy

There are times when my inner girly selfs longs for a girl. I hate walking to stores and most of the racks are dedicated to girls, and there might be one nice cute hidden "boy" shirt somewhere.
But then i look at him. Smiling at me. Mommy's little boy.
Mommy's little everything.
He is my heart.
I want him to learn about love, and how to love so one day he can make the RIGHT girl happy.
I'm already terrified of who he will pick in his life to spend it with, I can only hope he makes the right choices.
But i love him being a boy.
I remember when the tech said, "ITS A BOY". it took a good minute for me to process what she said, I was just worried he was healthy since i was taking albuterol and steriods for my asthma.
The doctor said everything looks fine and healthy, and thats when i was like OH MY GOODNESS im having a boy.
I guess it was my fear of raising a boy.
I only have a sister, so i felt more comfortable with the girl stuff.
But my mom was SOOOO happy she was having a boy grandson she never had, and then everyone was so happy about a BOY.
I totally forgot about the girl stuff.
I loved all the little animal prints for boys.
I went crazy.
I love him
I love his rough ways and his boy toys.
it will different but it will be awesome.
My adventure with my 2 boys and my boy dog rocky lol.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Florida Livin'

The news about this massive snow storm affecting like 1/3 of our country is crazy.
I feel so out if it.
I'm from chicago, where it seems like it got hit the worst!
24 inches of snow>? seriously!?
My best friend sent me a text saying that people were abandoning their cars and the NATIONAL GUARD was taking them home.
I can't even imgaine.
You know why>? cause today it was 82 degrees here, i had to turn on my AC and i was hot and humid.
I could not wrap my mind around the idea of snow.
I had a hard time with the Heat here in orlando, but the more i live here, the more i understand why people like it here.
its sunny 90% of the time and its warm. Except for like 2 months MAYBE TOTAL TIME of some cold weather. The coldest this year (which im sure broke records) was 28 degrees.
Needless to say, after this year im going to miss florida. ( i think i got choked up a bit). Seriously guys i have like no friends and def no family here, but something about living here.
Butttt My family will be amazing to have next year as we move to Michigan again.
Again for me. First time for the hubs.
Its been HELL looking for a place to live that is cute,not too expensive, and close to campus.
It looks like we will be living on campus in  housing that I HEAR is not that great.
Super not happy, but since we will be there 3 years, If we don't like it this year we will be able to move to somewhere nicer? idk. we'll see!
Andrew has such a strong personality.
He wants what he wants.
But he is NOT going to get it.
Im so thankful that i am able to not have my family spoling him this year.
I mean that's why i was so spoiled and bratty cause i was the first grandaughter and i was given everything i asked for.
Not this child.
too bad he has my stubborn personality and his fathers strong will.
sweet goodness, Lord help us raise him right.
Since i've HIGHLY contemplated having just this one child, if we do then we have to be way more tactful in raising an only child.
I can't promise that he will be the only child, but at the same time he may be.
Not because I'm selfish, or i don't want to "mess my body" or "give birth" those things come with the territory of having children, and to be honest i have no problem with it. The marks are marks of a long journey, for goodness sake you grew a HUMAN BEING inside you, seriously women need to get a freaking trophy and some huge chunk of cash from the government like Canada does.
Anyways i must go to bed!