Saturday, April 30, 2011

quick update

So we finally got a new computer.!
It is new but not super expensive or fancy, one day we will be able to afford to get each of us a Mac, but till then this will do just fine!
This is a quick update on my WW things.
Its been three weeks and i have lost 8 pounds.
Sigh, i kinda wanted more but at the same time I have to think realistically, and 8 pounds in 3 weeks is not bad right?
Anyways, easter weekend was bad, with food and chocolate, gah, it was not good. At least there was no gaining and just remaining the same.
Andrew has been super crazy whinning lately, i can't leave his side for one minute, and I can't even sit on the couch I have to be on the floor with him, and even then sometimes he just wants me to hold him.
Nights have been interesting lately, sometimes he will wake up at 3 and 5 other times he will just wake up at 5.
I can see the top teeth trying to break through, I thought there was a little possibilty that teething may or may not run smoothly.. no? okay then I'll keep going!
Other than those little things he has been extra funny and experimenting with sounds like crazy.
1st birthday trying to get ready party is on its way, sometimes I freak out not knowing how I will do it all considering its not at my house and 4 hours away. Although the place we are doing it at, the friend of ours has allowed 100% freedom, I always feel iffy and I feel like I can't use or touch anything that is hers, but I will try to just think positvely.
Along with this new computer a webcam was included and it has a funky blue line across it. But the hubs doesn't think it matters and does not want to go through the trouble of returning it. Alas I leave you with a picture the hubs and I just took now on the web cam, ignore the funky line across the screen

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My boys playing

I love how much Andrew laughs when he plays with rocky like this.
I hope it makes you smile a little today too!
Happy Tuesday!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Seems like a long time ago but it hasn't been really..

I've known my husband since 2006.
I know that doesn't seem like that long ago, but then I think umm wow its going to be 2012.
Where has time gone.
And we are only coming up to our 2 year anniversary and that also shocks me.
I'm kinda glad that it only feels like yesterday we got married and moved into our own little apartment but add to that this little baby we have and well... our life has never been the same :)
I was perusing through some of our old pictures that the hubs has on his computer and I felt so happy to call that man my husband. He is a wonderful and a great daddy.
So here are a few pics of us. Young(er) us haha.

engagement party day

this was the first picture he snaped of me and kept on his phone :)

here comes another racial post

Okay, So here I go again about race, but I'm sorry I have a lot to think about these days.
To be honest I never thought of my child having to worry about being biracial, I thought the world was totally over that, yes maybe I made myself believe that so I could feel okay about raising a half black half latino child in a world where both those races are looked down upon.
Who cares if both my husband and I have college degrees, and he's on to get his masters? No one cares, all they intially see is a black man and a latina girl.
It bothers me it does.
I can't shake it off, I hate having to prove myself to others. I hate it.
I subscribe to EBONY magazine, cause I can, and cause it was free.
My husband laughed at me first saying "why did you order that" and I said, "becuase".
In this months issue there is a whole 5 page spread on biracial issues.
A mean I was just mad reading it.
I couldn't take it.
All I want is my son to be accepted in this world as a BIRACIAL child.
I don't want him to have to "choose" which race he wants to be.
I don't want him to say " im black" because saying " im biracial" is confusing.
According to the article(s) its all about what you look like. If you look more "black" then you gravitate to that community and you feel more accepted, if you look more white then you can maybe fit better in the while world, or I guess in my cause more latino/a.
My son has that look that puts him in the "what are you" category.
I've gotten so far italian,asian,indian, i can't even begin to explain my frustration when my husband is right next to me and they say those things.
So he doesn't have a specific "look" per say.
I say he is a human being.
With the same damn blood and organs as a white, black,asian, latino, whatever.
But society has to put those labels on race.
And I totally understand. From a cultural point of view, its great to say I am from "Ecuador" I have all these wonderful traditions and customs that I know only people from Ecuador will understand.
I understand there has to be categories for people to fit in.
I'm just tired to think that still only 93% of people are accepting of interracial couples. No one told you that you can't love the person your with.
Can you imagine someone looking at your family on a daily basis just becuase you look different and to think that 7% of the world still thinks what your doing is wrong.
Okay I'm going to finish cause my blood is boiling.
I'm not even going to go on peoples reactions about me dating a black man.
He is a man, i don't see him as "black" i see him as a man, and I love him and my son

Friday, April 22, 2011

A "Normal" name

When I was a little girl, growing up in canada, all I wanted was a "normal" name.
You see the name Gabriela, was NOT a common name. No one could say it, everyone stumbled when they said it, or I would end up being " gabrielle".
I wanted so bad to be an Amy or Ashley anything but Gabriela.
I thought my name sounded to harsh, like G A B R I E L A. I don't know what it was
I just did not like it at all.
On top of that you know the stores where they would sell cute little personalized things, like pencils and stuff, yea? my name never there. EVER.
I was so upset as a child. All I wanted was that freaking pencil with my name on it.
When adults would ask what my name was they would say " thats so pretty" and I would think ARE YOU CRAZY!?! no its not.
I guess I just wanted to be like the kids in my school.
Luckily in Canada schools are filled with different kids from different cultures in the early 90's, so I wasn't alone with the "cultural" names.
I would tell my mom I HATE MY NAME, she would say, Gabriela is such a beautiful name.
 I would not beileve it.
I decided to just tell people my name is "gaby" whenever they asked me.
It was so much easier than to tell people my name is "gabriela" and they would say " oh gabrielle". I gave up trying to correct people.
In college when they would do the nightly check in, the front door desk worker called me "Gabrielle" the whole year. At first I would try to correct her, but she never got it, so yeah i basically let her call me gabrielle for the rest of the year.
Needless to say till this day, I just go by Gaby.
I have totally accepted my name now, I even think its cute, and its becoming more popular than before, along with my sisters name abigail, which i thought was such an "old" name, but now its so popular and there are a lot of "abby's" around.
So just call me Gaby, its so much easier to say and its Gaby with one "b" not two.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

16 and pregnant

Its funny that the summer I got married I swore I wanted to wait 5 years before having  a baby, clearly Gods plans are not ours, they are his.
But I remember watching 16 and pregnant with my husband that summer thinking " oh my goodness at 16 I couldn't even think of anyone else but me"
I think when your young every year makes a big difference. For example 30- 35, those 5 years may not make a huge impact in maturity when your in your 30's, but from 18-21 whoa, those 3 years have changed you like none other.
Being 18 going to college, finishing college,graduating, I just knew I was a different person. My priorites where way different than my former 18 year old self, and although 3-4 years doesn't seem like a long time, it sure changes you.

Granted when I did get pregnant, at 22 I felt as scared as those girls on 16 and pregnant. I did.
I was not sure how I was going to handle being a mother. Then I remembered, even though I am young I had already done everything I wanted. I lived my childhood years, I never tried to grow up to fast, I had a great teenage life, went camping, had friends, ect. I never felt like I missed steps in my life.
Although I would have loved some more just hubs and I time, but the way we think about it, by the time Andrew goes off to college we will be in our early 40's, and hey some people get married at 40, so we will be able to enjoy each other all over again.
Not that we don't have time for us in the evening now, but you know just us, all the time, time.
Now I'm watching the new season of 16 and pregnant, and I always cry in the delivery scene, wanna know something funny, I didn't even cry at my own labor. I don't know why. I was very emotional afterwards. But during the labor I was more nervous that he was healthy and that no "surprise" something wrong has happened.
I still thank God so much for a healthy baby boy.
Bringing him home, excpecially this past episode reminded me SO much of my husbands and I first night home.
We had that high maintence baby, who cried and cried. It seemed like things wouldn't ever get better, and that i'd be up with him all nigh for the rest of my life.
We still are up at night and he's almost a year old, but that's life, and I'm going to embrace it as much as I can, trying to be okay with the fact that children are children and they depend on us for everything.

Monday, April 18, 2011

11 Months

Dear Dres,

You are 11 months ! How the time is flying. I remember this time last year I was getting ready to have my baby shower. You were just a dream in my head, a picture of a 3d sonogram i had of you.
Now your a moving, babbling, cute little boy.
This month has been full of new adventures for you.
You love to play with your dog rocky. You guys have a secret talk cause you seem to command rocky somehow with your hands. You think its HILARIOUS when rocky grabs your stuff toys and starts shaking them, I want to catch it on video but you take the toy away from rocky before I get a chance.
This month you took 4 STEPS by yourself. Meaning you will be walking soon and I will be in awe thinking OH MY GOODNESS where is my baby. You try to take more steps by yourself, but you realize what is happening and fall right back to your knees.
I'm not pushing it though, cause your JUST fine crawling around.
You said "dada" not "mama" which makes your dad beam with pride and constantly says " he's daddys boy thats why" and I'm left trying to coach you on the side saying " say mama". Its okay, cause seeing your dad so happy you said "dada" first makes me happy inside.
I can't wait to see your relationship with your dad flourish and grow.
You are a finicky eater. You are starting to eat more, but your not a hungry hungry hippo or anything like that.
You nurse still, and I am savoring every minute of it until one day you tell me thats enough. I love that little time we spend together just the two of us, when I get to stroke your hair and tell you I love you.
You drink out of a sippy straw cup, you like water, and you like to also throw the cup around.
You're constantly babbling away, and I am constantly trying to keep the spanish talking going at home. You understand the "come" command but in spanish which makes me happy! Slowly but surely we will get you to speak spanish first! yay.
Overall you are a happy wonderful boy and I love you so much!

The Journey Continues

This week has been a lot of birthday talk.
I finally was able to talk to a church family in miami, who are like 2nd parents to my husband anyways. They are letting us use their house to throw the baby his party, and they have a pool, which makes things easier on me with organizing "party" games.

My mom is like a crazy entertainer type person. She is so engaging and happy, everyone wants her around to be the life of the party. She has lavish partys and somehow she also manages to entertain.
I can see myself kinda like my mom, but other times I am just not an entertainer. I am just not. On top of that we are doing it in a place where people only know me as "andrew's wife"- some of them haven't even met me. So needless to say I am leaving andrew the duty of  entertaining the people, also just for clarification my husband and my son are both named andrew, but we call the baby Andres, or Dres, the spanish version of Andrew.

My shipment of party supplies came in and a pinata! yay. Its an owl themed party,
I'm  having a hard time thinking of cute little ideas for a center piece that is affordable. The amount of party supplies for a childs birthday out there is crazy, also expensive. Sometimes I wish I was crafty or creative, but even if I was the supplies to make those things are also costly.
Oh well, we did buy one of those helium balloon machines that blows up 30 balloons on sale. It was going to be cheaper than having a party store inflate 12 balloons for us.

Birthdays, celebrations, or any accomplishments are so important in my family. My mom always  celebrates us and that is something I want to pass down to my kids. My husband unforuntaley did not grow up like that, he had his birthday partys but not as celebrated as I. Thus sometimes it takes a little more convincing on my part that I want to celebrate things, and no they don't have to cost 300 dollars, but I want to make it special.

Also I've lost 2 pounds this past week, which brings me to a gran total of 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Not bad, gradual weight loss is the best.
I get to eat what I like, but in moderation. And if i want something really bad I just save some points for that thing.
I still don't feel a huge difference in my body in terms of weight loss, but my face feels thinner.
My body is built in a way that all my fat goes to my belly. Seriously none to butt of hips, which i know i know is a good thing, but sometimes i wish i had some more fat on my butt, just sayin.
Plus belly fat is the hardest to lose, and i can tell my weight has left my already not big booty.
Okay enough of that!
Have a good monday!
I'll be posting Andrews 11 month update soon!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

How is it knows everything

How is it that moms' know everything.
No seriously they do.
My mom happens to always call me to mention something, or ask me if everything is okay JUST when I need it.
It's no surprise that this year has been hard being 1000+ miles away from my family. Its been really hard.
But just hearing my mom, and seeing my son smile when he hears her voice through the phone makes my heart glad.

Somehow my mom always knew when something was wrong with me. I see it now. I feel that extra mom instinct. Being a mom now I "sense" things my hubs doesn't that mom instinct is so true.

My mom guessed I was pregnant before I did. She knew before I did.
Let me explain

My husband is in ministry so right now I am lucky to be a SAHM and follow him where God is leading us. Hence were we were.
I was not working, home alone, no job prospects, and it was technically a good time to have a child, other than the lack of money but it was a good time.
My mom called me on a thursday, and we talked about life, and she mentioned how this would be a good time to start a family since I was able to stay home.
I told her MOM YOUR CRAZY, we are NOT ready for a child.
She was like "okay just think about it"
I started thinking.
Thinking about recent "strange" things going on in my body.
My recent craving for slushies... and then I took a pregnancy test that night and yes indeed it was positive.
My mom knew.
The next day we went to the doctor and he confirmed.
I called my mom and she was over joyed.
I love her, she is so strong and amazing I can't wait to spend a whole month and a half in chicago with my family this summer!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


The hubs and I decided to spend some more time together at night reading a devotion together.
We read our own thing, but we realized we really need to reconnect at night.
With the stresses that baby brings, sometimes we put our marriage on the back burner and I forget that it is EXTREMELY important for the hubs and I to be connected.
We are enjoying these past few days, reading and really expressing our feelings to each other.
My husband loves to joke. I say 80% of the time he is funny and likes to joke, but sometimes I feel like I'm the complete opposite.
He makes it hard for things to be "serious" and I on the other hand like to take things seriously.
I love that he likes to "laugh" things off and not dwell on the "little" things but you know sometimes I wish he would be more serious.
That being said, I love that man. When he gets serious and "deep" in conversation. WHOA he blows my mind away, and the sweet words that come out, I love that when he means something, he means it.
He doesn't losely say things just to get me to be quiet or becuase he thinks I want to hear it ( although sometimes I wish he would just say those things) haha. We grew up in different types of homes. I grew up in a very affectionate, emotional, bare all home, which he grew up in a more reseverd home.
Marriage is super hard to work on. It is.
Its not easy, and I often tell my friends who are about to be married, to think about their home life, how they grew up, values things that are "obvious" but when your blinded by love, you often forget to look at those things.
It will affect the way your husband looks at life.
Other times, if they have been in a bad home situation, they don't want to repeat the same mistakes. They want to be better and different in their own family.
A marriage is definitely worth fighting for.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Picky Eater

As I checked my emails on my phone while nursing I recieved the " your baby at 11 months" email.
It was meant for me.
It talked about children who are picky eaters.
Andrew is NOT a "good" eater
He is so picky and eats maybe MAYBE 6oz of food a day.
He does eat more table food, and that is what he wants.
He doesn't want anyone to feed him, but the problem with table food is that I'm scared of choking.
I've gotten much more comfortable but with only 2 teeth he sometimes starts gagging and I freak out.
So its between feeding him tiny pieces of wheat bread, dipped in his baby food, with other small amount of food.
He still nurses quite a bit, and he's happy and he is around 20 pounds.
I thought he'd be bigger by now, but he's not.
I'm not giving up on letting him try new foods, but at the same time I WISH he was a better eater, a piggy even, I often compare him to others, which I know is stupid, but he had a play date with 2 twin girls and they ate 12 oz in one sitting. ONE SITTING.
anyways I hope the boob is enough for him for now.
I'm scared some self weaning is happening, but at the same time he def uses me fore comfort, basically for nap time, he can't fall asleep without me nursing him.
Anyways, still "planning" for his birthday, so many things to do and still I have nothing.
1 month away almost from his 1st birthday, my how time flies

Friday, April 8, 2011

Bilingual home

Its hard to teach your child another language when you are the only one in your household that speaks the other language.
I am fluent in both Spanish and English.
My husband speaks just English.
My goal in life was to make my son bilingual like me.
Before he was born I thought FOR sure it was going to be easy for me to teach him.
My plan was to JUST speak spanish to him. My husband was going to try his best to understand me. Since he also wanted to learn Spanish this was a win win situation.
Then came baby to our house. I immeditaley felt strange even speaking to him.
How weird is that? I have an undergraduate degree in Speech-Language Pathology. For me to feel this way when he came home was hard on me.
I thought that I would be so comfortable speaking to him in Spanish, and since at that time my whole family (who basically only speaks spanish at home), was around me it would be a piece of cake right?
I was very very much discouraged, and I thought at this rate he will never be bilingual and it will be all my fault.
Of course my husband only spoke english to me, and I kept telling him STOP, you need to try to speak as much spanish as you can!
Clearly I was being obsessive about this.
Slowly I felt more and more comfrotable in speaking to my child, in whatever langague came out first.
English was the easiest but then in a few months I found myself comfortable again in speaking to him in Spanish.
We are still on that bilingual journey, and so far I say I do 80% spanish and 20 % english.
Its hard, but I'm glad I am doing it.
Some tips, if you know another langauge even just a little bit I have discovered are:
1. Don't beat yourself up about it. Let a few words flow naturally and say them to your child.

2. Say the words in both languages for objects.

3. Try to focus on certain phrases you want your child to learn in the langauge your teaching him/her

Most of all children are like sponges, so I know he will learn eventually. Till the age of 5 they have the ability to learn a language like they were natives of that country, meaning the accent will be less than if you learn it later in life. that is my goal.
And hopefully the hubs will catch one or two Spanish lessons from us. :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thankful thursday!

Today I'm thankful for feeling better about this Weight Watchers thing, and me making better eating decisions.

I'm thankful for my little baby boy, who I get to spend 24/7 with.

I'm thankful for my supportive hubs, and him bringing me sonic slushies when i told him i've been saving a treat for myself the last 5 days :)

I 'm thankful for my family, and their constant support too.

I'm thankful for LIFE in general.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Only one

This is kinda weird for me to type.
Have I mentioned the hubs and I have seriously talked about Andrew being our only baby?
Are we crazy?
I love him so much, and don't get me wrong i totally get baby fever a lot, but at the same time we think about lot of things.
The ugly world around us, raising kids in this crazy world. Of course we want to be a good example and teach him to make right choices, but the world is so tempting, the bad things are always out there.
At the same time we feel happy with us 3. Yes it seems selfish to some, because he has no siblings.
I have one sister, and i LOVE Her to death. I know the great bond that siblings bring.
Sometimes I think I shouldn't even type this, but its true for us right now.
Who knows 5 years down the line.
My sister and I are 9 years apart. OF course we didn't even have similar things to talk about till maybe 1 year ago.
Now she is 14 and she and I are finally "sisters"
Before her and I had the "Mom and daughter " realtionship.
We have never been in a hurry to have a family, clearly.
Also neither of us came into this marriage wanting a BIG family.
It would be 2 kids tops, if we had another one.
Till then we will enjoy our little one! HE is MORE than enough right now :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

I just had to.

As of last night I have officially started Weight Watchers online.
I have been kinda hesistant to start this program cause I am HORRIBLE at keeping
track of things online, but when i plugged in my points of what i ate yesterday, it was so easy.
Seriously I really needed this accountability factor in my life.
The thing what i thought was me making 'good' choices turns out to be a lot of extra point I could be investing else where.
Seriously its like a game almost, where you wanna keep your point and make them worth it.
Needless to say I immediately looked up "sonic slushies" haha since i love them and have them maybe once a week, and they are only 5 points. So yay, I will always keep that in mind now.
I'm so excited about this, and hopefully things work out well for me.

It will take a lot of energy, but support is key!
I just spent all morning plugging in typical foods I eat.
We eat  a lot of meat subsistutes like morning star meatless patties, and meatballs, ect.
I never realized how much protein they had till i just plugged them in.
Luckily they are all about 3 to 4 points a serving, which is great.
What I am worried about is my cheese and pasta intakes.
We shall see how i calculate that.
anyways so far easy peasy, I feel like I have PLENTY of points to work with right now, and I know that will also change once I start losing weight and stop nursing. Which will be soon, but at the same time now I don't want to stop nursing. hahah.

We had a nice relaxing weekend here. Hubs worked all night saturday which is never fun, and i totally binged on chips and dip, which then in return i felt sick. bleh.
Anyways here goes nothing!