Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Normality and christmas time !

I am so happy to be in my home home.
I love my parents home, but since having to move to a smaller house it just seems crowded and I anxiously wait to go back home.
We had a wonderful vegan thanksgiving, it was fine I did smell the turkey but just kept STRONG! haha.
Anyways I broke down crying like a baby when we did a family circle "what we are thankfulness" time.
I just broke down due to my bffs mom struggling through cancer, and a new church member who I have known all my life just was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. I mean it was too much, I just felt EXTREMELY blessed beyond what I think I deserve . Anyways my husband said some amazing things about me, and I think its important to hear those things, sometimes through the business of the the week and life in general we don't have time to remind our partners how much we appreciate them.

We got home I unpacked * now i have like 3 loads of laundry again* and We put up our christmas tree right away. My husband thinks I'm crazy but Im glad he doesn't say anything and actually helped me put up things this year :)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Remembering My blessings.

Sometimes its so so easy to forget daily blessings.
The fact that I have a roof over my head.
Food to feed my family.
My own family
Generally good health in my family.
I forget those things. 
I see my BFF suffer with her mom and her cancer and it breaks my heart. Sometimes i'm speechless all i can do it hug her.

Today during our mom time at church we had a massage therapist come in and show us baby massage and she shared the importance of touch.
And she talked about Gods amazing touch, how he healed, and i swear i felt so close like Jesus was holding my hand.
We were talking about parenting the difficulties and the challenges but all we can do it grab onto Jesus, thats when our FAITH is truly challenged. 
So I pray God gives me the strength and remind me that he is holding my hand, my husbands hand and my sons hand as we travel through the journey of being parents together. 


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

18 months

Dear Andrew,'

Today you are  18 months.
A full grown toddler. Adorable and funny, silly but serious at times.
Your laugh fills my heart, and your smile literally melts any problem I have away.
Just to hold you everyday is enough for me.
You are a fun little man these days.
You love to run outside. You love LOVE to be chased around !
You aren't saying any specific words but you "talk" ALLL Day long
You make my heart happy.
You love yo gabba gabba and you like to dance (ha).
 You love to play on top of us and throw your self twirl and laugh.
You pretty much eat everything we eat, sometimes there are issues at eating times but for the most part you do pretty well :).
You love to sit and "read" and you continue to amaze me how long you can sit on the floor and pretend to do that.
You know how to "pray" mommy and daddy have taught you to hold your hands and bow your head, and you do that. We lower our voice when we pray and you do the same and whisper gibberish as we pray as well.
You are so funny little bunny.
You love animals and smile at them.
You love daddy and run to him when we go visit him at school.
You love me, your mom, and you grab my face and look at me, then hug me... I want to cry sometimes with the sweetness that is.
I just forget your growing, but your still small and a baby.
I need you to be loved and carried still! I'm going to soak up all the "baby" left in you.

So my sweet little babes, you continue to be the joy in my life. You are pure and innocent happy and you remind me of God's love everyday. That special gift God gave me. Through you I learn more and more about love and God's love for his children!

Te amo

your mommy :)

Monday, November 14, 2011

From a meat eater to a wanna be vegan

* I am by no means bashing anyone who eats meat or anything like that! this is my personal journey and story!

I grew up eating meat, in fact LOTS of meat.
When I look back there was lots of food issues as a child. I was rewarded with food, stuff of that nature.
I think now that my family ate a lot of red meat. We never ate pork or any sort of sea food, but chicken and beef were our main staple.
I think as a culture if there wasn't a piece of meat with the meal then there was no meal.
I then got sick at 12 from gastroenteritis from what I assume was a burger from McDonalds.
I had lots of tummy aches as a child.
Anyways. Then my mom got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes . She cut out ALL meat at that point.
Then we slowly introduced chicken again, but would not eat red meat at home.
If we went to BBQ's or other peoples home then we would consume red meat. I mean BBQ flank steak is or was to me so good!
As a religion in whole we preach a vegetarian life style. We don't say its a MUST but its a very strong point in our religion.
Then I was 16 and went to boarding school, where all the food was vegetarian. So I was there for 2 years! almost all year round sans meat, which was fine! I actually preferred a meat substitute instead of meat. During those years I would NOT eat real hot dogs just the "fake" ones, and still at home only chicken or fish was being made, and I would go home once a month!.

After boarding school I went to college where they also only served a vegetarian menu. It was an easy transition from high school to college. I would still eat meat if my friends and I went out to eat, and it would mostly be chicken.
My freshman year whenever I went home I would eat beef at a BBQ, I just couldn't resist. Granted I pretty much felt like crap after eating it and my stomach would literally feel horrible, because the last 3 years I was mainly a veggie.
Then a spent the night at a friends house and we went to outback steakhouse. *this is a crucial story for my cutting red meat COMPLETELY*
Clearly we are at steak house and the chicken options were not appetizing for me at all, and I dont like fish.
So I ordered a burger.
Biggest mistake of my life.
I didn't sleep that night. My stomach was on fire, I couldn't handle it. I almost died that night.
I had lost my "tolerance" to beef.
That night I decided to NEVER eat red meat again.
I'm going on year 7 sans red meat.
Chicken was still my go to when out to eat.
I loved that chicken let me tell you.
My Sophomore year I met my now husband.
When we were friends he was a vegan.
I was so impressed with him because honestly HOW COULD I LIVE WITHOUT ICECREAM>!!!#*$)*#
But I admired that about him.
He was just starting so it was hard for him. Plus his freaky fast metabolism he decided to just stay a vegetarian.
Then we fell in love and got married you can read our love story posts here and here and here

Andrew and I had clearly discussed that we were going to be vegetarians and raise our children that way. I was totally fine with it. He also said I can do whatever I'd like * i still liked to eat chicken when eating out* but he would prefer I not bring meat into out home. I agreed. I loved that in fact!.

We got married and andrew did NOT drink milk.
I loved me some silk soy anyways so that was not an issue.
One thing I loved that my husband wasn't a HUGE fan of was eggs.
I loved them and he really didn't eat them, and if he did they would have to be scrabbled to the point of almost being burned haha.
So that was our first unofficial step to becoming vegan we didn't eat eggs or drink milk.

I could NOT let go of the chicken. I mean when we would go home thats all my family made!

So how did we decide to go vegan?
Well my husband came home from class and he said "we need to try to be vegan". I was scared. No lie.
I was like " oh yeah why?"
He was like i just watched "forks over knifes"*on netflix* and i want to try to be vegan.
I said "yes babe" i will jump on this vegan train with you.

So now I will not eat chicken if it kills me, and we have officially said goodbye to cheese and any animal product.

This journey is interesting but I am loving it. A handfuls of raw almonds does me better and keeps me more energized than a cup of coffee, and perhaps my allergies will improve sans dairy products? who knows.
Its still new but I thank GOD we live 3 min from a healthy market in which there is EVERYTHING in the world to be vegan.

My journey is still continuing and soon i'll be able to not "miss" the cheese.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The small stuff

We have this kind of open field out in our back yard, we do share it with 6 other apartment but none of them have kids so I'll take andrew out to run around. He loves going outside, a lot, and I wish i could take him out more, im so scared of the crazy weather coming up, and the cabin fever, and oy. But today was such a nice breezy day, more like extremely windy but it was warm, warm enough for us to go out.
Andrew is so cute.
I can't handle his new things, his expressions, the way he plays, loves to climb on us. Looks at me and starts babbling and smiling like he is trying to tell me a secret and laughs. I want him to be this way forever.

Why does time fly so fast, why do i feel like i can't remember his newborn days, does God do this intentionally so we can reproduce and not remember the very sleepless nights? But I am so enjoying my son right now, I want to give him my all, even if toodlerhood is hard and andrew has his moments throughout the day, I love every moment with him.

And I am obsessed with animal hats. I don't have a girl so i can't deck my son out with tights and stuff, so i go for all animal things.
My son has been a puppy and now my mom bought him this adorable bear hat, I'm thinking the next one is this moose from target... i love it.. my husband on the other hand thinks its "over the top", but he is only going to let me dress him with what I want for so long right? so I will take all the opportunities for him to be my little puppy, bear, bunny... you get the point :)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A message through a massage.

My husband has insurance through his current job/school .
And there is an amazing lady who give you 30 free massages through this particular insurance a year.
Yes i know i almost died when I heard i can get massages for free.
Thats when i met her. A sweet older lady. Andrew came to drop me off with the baby and she thought Andrew(my son) was so cute. He of course smiled and laughed with her.
She was sweet. Told me to press this button when i was ready and she'd come in.
She then asked if she may pray with me before our massage, i said "of course"!
Odd for most massage therapist, but for the area we live in its not unusual to find christian professionals, she also knew my husband was in the seminary.
She then prayed , and said something that no one has ever prayed for us as parents, that " mommy and daddy love each other and he sees our love". I almost couldn't talk. I don't know what it was about the sentence, or was it in her voice, but she kept talking about it, saying " isn't that your biggest desire, that you can provide a happy family for your child", and i said " yes, yes it is".
*ps. my back was horrible she said i need massage thearpy like WHOA, well she didn't say "whoa" but  I am cause my back was/is really bad.

I've gone to 5 sessions and she is so sweet, constantly prays for me and my family and during one conversation she told me to enjoy  my son as much as I can, and then she told me she had lost her 2 sons both in car accidents 7 years apart. My heart broke, but she had a calm way of talking about it, just her desire to see her sons in heaven one day.

She always has something amazing to say after every massage, I swear I look forward to her massage cause its a 2 for 1 deal my daily dose of prayer and a massage.

Needless to say i hugged my baby as soon as I got home, and realized through the rough times the cranky pants moments, he shows me love, that love that God can only give.
I am not perfect yet my son loves me no matter what.