Thursday, January 27, 2011

The screams and love and logic

It's that time in a childs life where he is now starting to understand what "no" means.
He is a veryyy stubborn and willful child. Meaning he wants what he wants and if he doesn't get it this face happens.
Well he has to learn to NOT scream when he wants something.
I guess its pay back.
Most people who met me would never think i was such a spoiled only child ( for 9 years)
So hence i threw A LOT of tantrums, and I am DEFINITELY getting pay back already with my 8 month old.
He is clearly an only child right now, and it may or may not be this way forever. I hope we can find the right techniques to control this.
I am currently reading Love and Logic, its kinda weird for me so far.
I feel like its to "liberal" for me.
Its basically you give your children 2 choices, both those choices require them to do what you requested in a good and bad way.
For example if you want them to put their coat on and they say no you say" you can put your coat on inside your warm house or put it on in the car"
If they chose to put it on in the car you have to let them go out in the cold and learn their lesson.
The book is all about letting children choose positive things in life through learning experiences so when they grow up they know how to make decisions and such.
I guess its strange for me because that is not how i grew up, it was you do it now orrrrr elsee...
which i DO NOT like either.
So we will see how i incorporate these ideas. I like their Fighting and Thinking words part, which totally makes sense.
I clearly wasn't able to learn with words i had to get spanked.
I'm not totally against spanking, but at the same time I want to try 1037048 methods before spanking occurs.
So as of now i talk to him like a little adult telling him
"andres do you want to get hurt playing there or do you want to come play here with me"
He is learning, sometimes i see his attitude change, its nice.
Its scary because now true parenthood is occuring.
The part  in which you are responsible for their behavior, for their actions, and for guiding them in the right path.
With a lot of prayer and support from the hubs we will get this discipline down.

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