Monday, September 26, 2011

The young mom discrimination

I became a mom at 22.
Thus making me a "young mom". This is a good and a "bad" thing. and when I say "bad" its only because other people judge me by my looks.
Yes I do look young, and perhaps I get mistaken for a 16 (especially when I wear my glasses and a hoodie) and I see the pity in other people's face.
You young moms might know what I am talking about.
That "oh poor girl ruined her life and had a baby"..
Or " she is a baby having a baby"
I hate those looks. I hate being looked and and "discriminated" because I look young.
I felt that way in our sabbath school, where most parents were in their late 30's early 40's and I knew they thought I had no idea how to take care of my child.
Most people think I want to go out every night, and have had people tell me that life changes with a child and I know your "young" and it will be hard.
Seriously? it hurts when people that KNOW ME might mention something like that.

The other day I was walking on campus to meet my husband from class and an older mother, wife of one of the professors here on campus stopped me to tell me about a mommy and me group at the church on tuesdays.
She could have just said that and walk away, instead she made sure to tell me " its not like a free babysitting thing where you can drop your kid off and leave"... I think I was so shocked I wasn't sure what to say.
I am a stay at home mom, I dedicate all my days to my child, and yes some people might think "this girl wasted her 20's by having a child", and that hurts me. It also makes me mad that people judge young moms thinking they know better. I'm pretty sure young or older having a child is a learning experience for  20's,30's or 40's moms. We can learn things from each other, give each other tips on things that work for each other.. ect..
One thing I might look forward to from being a young mom is being 40 and my son in college and finally getting to enjoy some time with my husband. Also empty nest syndrome will hit real hard and I will get 3 dogs  :).
Have you been through " young mom discrimination?"


  1. I can't say I went through 'young mom' discrimination, but I did go through 'old mom' discrimination and I wasn't even old. I was 29 and now 32! I've gotten a ton of "why did you wait so long" and "now you're going to be ### old when your kids are in college". I tell ya, no matter what people are going to find a reason to try to judge you. It sucks. =( But no matter what they say... you're an AWESOME mom and that's all that matters!!!

  2. yes, I have been a victim of young mom discrimination. The stares and the judgement. I cannot let these awful people get to me. Thank you both for sharing. Now I know I am not the only mother that is faced with discrimination. I feel like wearing a shirt that says "I have a bachelors and me and my fiance have our own apartment with 2 vehicles, one vehicle in my name and he has his own vehicle, I have a job with 401k and ,my fiance has a great job with benefits as well. But I don't have anything to prove to people. I feel the awful stares.